In one of the most ludicrous pronouncements in an environment where ludicrous pronouncements are the order of the day, the World Surf League has told photographers and video camera operators that zooming in on the bottoms of the female surfers is now verboten.

The World Surf League is interested in equality.

Female surfers wear bikinis because it enhances their surfing skills.

There, the WSL is not the only outfit capable of ludicrous pronouncements.

Put them in wetsuits, or put the men in speedos. Certainly, there are many who would appreciate that form of equality.

The WSL had a seminar for employees to school them in the politically charged subject of sexual harassment, telling them, No inappropriate jokes. No leering at colleagues or competitors. Absolute gender equality in all parts of the operation,” an article stated before outlining the specific rules handed down to live photographers.A live broadcast means there’s no time for editing so all camera operators need to use common sense when shooting. That means wide shots of any competitors in skimpy swimwear. Girls who surf in boardshorts will feature larger on screen than those in bikinis,” it read.

Could the WSL possibly considering requiring the female surfers, who choose, incidentally, what to wear when competing, to surf switch foot to avoid tempting lascivious camera operators?

If the camera operator is a female, does that mean the WSL is in favour of gay marriage?

Aussie surfing icon Layne Beachley raised the hackles of the politically correct on a radio show in Brisbane, saying, “I respect the fact women can choose the bikinis they wish to surf in based on comfort or practicality,” she said.“It’s up to them to choose how they want to present themselves. I think it’s a step in the wrong direction as far as telling cameramen (watch out, Beachley, that is politically incorrect gender-specific language) that they can’t film girls duck-diving or doing bottom turns, because that’s a natural part of surfing. I appreciate the “zooming in” part though, I don’t think there’s any need to zoom in on it.”

We hope that everyone can just relax a bit, but we suspect that the WSL will spare no expense in order to get to the bottom of the situation.